How It All Began

My journey to becoming a successful Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy Life and Relationship Coach, began with my own personal exploration of liberating myself from traditional structures of identity and love.

Growing up in the Midwest, in a very conservative, hetero/cis white community, I was always afraid of my desires, and often confused about my identity.
Because there were no examples available to me, I defaulted to an identity of straight cis girl, because that was what was expected. It wasn’t until I was grown and several years into a rocky marriage that I finally faced my truth.

I had fallen in love with a woman. I was nervous to confess my desire to my then husband, but I knew that it was crucial that I did. He and I learned the hard way that hiding and denying desire can lead to destruction. Our path to recovery from his infidelity lead us to deeper communication about our urges, our fears, and ourselves. What we were discovering is that we both identified with a desire to be intimate with more than one person. So when I met this woman, I proposed what seemed like an insane idea at that time. What if we all were together? A triad. I had never even heard the word polyamorous, or knew structures like that actually existed, but my gut was telling me I wanted this, and they did too.

The reason I am so passionate about what I do, is because when I was coming to terms with my poly, queer, gender-fluid identity, there wasn’t much besides a few books. I tried traditional therapy, but their education was primarily rooted in monogamy, and even if they were familiar with non-monogamy, none of them had lived experience, or personally identified with polyamory. I felt alone, and made a million mistakes along my journey.
I realized then that I wanted to take the lessons I had learned and formally educate myself so that I could be in service of others. No one should feel alone, and the particular adventure from monogamy to non-monogamy and/or polyamory can be a challenge. Facing possessiveness, insecure attachments, and even coming out to family and friends can be traumatic.

I am an advocate for your journey. I focus on strengthening the self first, so that you may build from there a place of secure attachment to your partner or partners.

I am happy to say, my then husband, is now one of two primary partners in my life. I love deeply and I am at peace. I am kitchen table poly, and our constellation of chosen family, lovers and partners continues to grow and embrace one another. I am grateful for my mistakes, and all the struggles, because it led me to my most authentic self. That is what I hope for you as well.

If you are ready to face yourself and your real truth, even if you’re not sure exactly what that is yet, then I am the coach for you.